Home Again, Home Again

Classes are over for the semester, and I’m home! Huzzah! Tomorrow, I start work at the library.

I’ve been doing an edit-really-more-of-a-rewrite of Lord of the Dark Downs, but I’ve decided to pause on that when I get to the end of my current chapter in order to do a polishing edit on The Dogwatchers so that I can start querying it. This was a little tough to decide, because I would ordinarily plan to let a recently-finished manuscript sit for longer before doing the last-call edit and querying. The Dogwatchers has been finished for just over three months (got done at 3:08 AM January 30), so it’s had a little while, but the main impetus for my deciding to go back to it now is that I realize none of my novels are currently making the rounds. It’s always good to have something out there.

Besides this, I feel The Dogwatchers is at least as pitchable as Rabbit and Cougar and much more so than Lord of the Dark Downs. (I don’t really know how to write a query for a novel with an ensemble cast.)

So, coming soon: editing! (And for those of you who are Becky, probably taking you up on your offer to read The Dogwatchers once it is edited. Thanks!)

Storyage; also, Technology Edits For You!

The first issue of Othergate is up now, including my short story, “Chasing Cars.”

I’ve heard some good suggestions for overused and/or weak words and phrases for which you might use the Search feature when you’re editing. This article mentions a few; although they don’t specifically say it, you can use Search on #2 as well by looking for “It” and checking the “case sensitive” box.

I’ve also heard of using a Wordle to look for repetition. I suspect this is not all that helpful, as it will probably bring up mostly words you can’t avoid repeating a lot, such as characters’ names. Its true appeal may be more in the inherent neatness of Wordles, which seem to be everywhere lately. I’ve never made one, but I do stare at them, much the way I stare at pretty fish in aquariums.

*Resists*

*Resists*

*Wordles Rabbit and Cougar*

Okay, what I said about this not being helpful? Do not listen to foolish, five-minutes-ago Nic. This is the coolest thing ever. I’m not going to post it because, impossible as it might seem, it actually contains at least one spoiler, but I am impressed. Naturally, the biggest things are the major characters’ names (and I’m happy to see that “Rabbit” and “Cougar” are about the same size), and the smaller words include such things as “Rabbit’s” and “Cougar’s,” as well as the names of almost every other named character. They also include a lot of prepositions like “around” and “toward.” (Thankfully, unless you tell it to do otherwise, Wordle takes out “common English words,” so no “the” or “a.”) It’s fascinating to look at some of the other words and think of the phrases I use that would put them into the Wordle. “Bit,” for example, is in there, probably due to my addiction to love affair with appreciation for the phrase “a bit.” There’s also “moment,” courtesy of my desire to show time without using minutes or seconds. Then words that pertain to the setting, like “trees” and “dragon.” And, unexpectedly, “name,” which pleases me greatly because it’s a small thing that’s very important to the story.

Good News in the World of Me

I just got an offer to work at the library again this summer! Am super-psyched. All this learning about libraryish things has made me eager to do some more actual librarying.

Also, I’ve learned that I will be able to get graduate credit next semester for a class I wanted that isn’t in my department: Victorian Literature and Contemporary Issues. (An English class.) I’ll be taking that, two required courses, and Web Development I. I expect a fun and exciting fall semester!

Infuriating Mechanics Errors Made Cute and Fuzzy

Out of a healthy respect for my blood pressure, I try not to freak out too much over people’s mechanics errors. This is especially important online, where such errors swarm across pages, knocking out capital letters and doing cruel things to apostrophes. Like many writers, though, I have at least one pet peeve: “alot.”

Or at least I did, until I learned that what these people are actually talking about is the Alot, an adorable and highly talented creature. Ah, that’s much better.

On Free-for-Alls

I just read a book that included a big free-for-all fight scene with which I had some issues. Thinking about it, I realized I have some very specific thoughts on what makes this kind of scene fly or flop. So, you get to read about them!

When you’ve spent a lot of page time developing a large cast, and you then have a big wacky scene in which they’re all involved, it’s natural to want to show the reader what all of them are doing. One hopes that they’re now interested in the characters and will like to see what part each of them has in this wild scene – which could be a party or other gathering, but is probably most often a fight.

The good news is that you can do this, and do it well. You can describe what everyone – or most everyone, at least – is doing. You just have to avoid the pitfall of making it seem like that’s what you’re doing.

To go broader for a moment: a common cause of problematic writing is what you might call Author Peekaboo. You’re reading along, and the story is moving based on what the characters want or need to do. You’re looking at the characters. Then – peekaboo! – a scene that belongs to the author rather than the characters. Basically, a scene is a problem if it seems to the reader like you put it in because you wanted to, whether to push the plot somewhere or, as is usually the case with free-for-all scenes, for awesomeness’ sake. Yes, some people will cynically pick out the “plot reason” for even very reasonable story developments, but if they are reasonable story developments, even these people won’t likely be bothered. And while I hope you enjoy your writing, you don’t want readers thinking, “Boy, the author sure liked this scene.” Readers should be seeing your characters, not you.

Now, to go narrower: the way to avoid this in free-for-all scenes is to make sure you describe only what your POV character would actually be paying attention to. Assuming s/he is not a complete spectator to this event – which, by the way, would be really annoying to read – then s/he simply will not be able to take in everything that is happening at once.

When an author writes a long passage of –

Celia and Derek crashed through the hall on the back of Celia’s horse, swords swinging, scattering the invaders. Emma seemed to have finally got the hang of the fireball spell, and was tossing flames in all directions from the shelter of an overturned table. Francis leapt onto another table, kicked a wineglass into an invader’s face, and ran down the tabletop, lashing out with both ends of his spear.

– usually much, much longer and more detailed, and often detailing the actions of over a dozen characters –

– this is what is in the author’s head:
“Hooray! Plot-relevant action combined with character development! Celia and Derek are sharing a horse after I’ve pushed them together for two hundred pages/three volumes of the series! Bumbling Emma makes good! Francis looks super-hot, leading nicely into his first kiss with Padma Protagonist after the battle!”

This is what is in the reader’s head, at least if the reader is me:
“What is Padma doing? Is she just standing there watching all this? How come no one is attacking her? How come she’s not helping? Why am I reading from the viewpoint of someone so useless, anyway?”

(The above passage should set off alarms regardless, because you can’t tell whose point of view it’s in at all.)

So you want to focus on what your protagonist is immediately paying attention to, and this should be related to what she is immediately doing, which should really be SOMETHING. A great way to do this and still show what all your lovely characters are up to is to make your protagonist physically move through the fight. Now being a great time to throw in this entry’s obligatory Harry Potter reference, I’ll mention the big battle at the end of Deathly Hallows. Even here, I found events a tiny bit list-y at times, but mostly, the scene works very well, and it’s because Harry has his own super-important goal. He’s moving through the battle, and we mostly glimpse only the pieces of it that get in his way or distract them by specifically endangering one of his bestest best friends. This is a good way to operate. Keep your protagonist’s focus narrow, the way it would actually be in a big crazy life-and-death struggle.

So, maybe this:

Padma drew her sword, only to leap aside at Derek’s warning shout. He and Celia thundered past on Celia’s horse, swords swinging. As the invaders scattered, Padma seized her chance, charging across the hall in her friends’ wake. Fifty feet to the barred door that led to the dungeons . . . forty feet . . . The invaders regrouped in front of her, snarling, their archers taking aim. Padma threw herself behind an overturned table.
“Oh Padma, it’s only you!” Emma crouched beside her, a sputtering ball of fire in one hand.
“I thought you couldn’t do those!” said Padma as Emma lobbed the fireball over the table.
“So did I. Oh! What is Francis doing?”
Francis! Padma risked a look around just as Francis leapt onto a table, kicking a wineglass into an invader’s face.
Padma shot a glance at the dungeon door. This diversion could be just what she needed. But what about Francis? He was now running down the tabletop, lashing out with both ends of his spear. What if something happened to him?

(You know, before Padma can get to the dungeon and release the giant monster fox that will snarf the invaders, because they’re all extremely violent fieldmice.)

The second passage has all the same info as the first one – indeed, more details. Unfortunately, the style of the first passage appears all too often. Just like any other scene, free-for-alls work best when you take the important stuff that’s happening and take your POV character and SMUSH THEM TOGETHER.

They’re So Money

(This title is meta-relevant because I just won a contest at the lovely Reading in Color blog, and the prize is the YA novel She’s So Money by Cherry Cheva. The contest was a random drawing, so not a demonstration of any Mad Skillz on my part, but woo free book!)

Now, on to the non-meta relevance! Discovering the highly silly Forbes Fictional 15 list (check out the slideshow, too) got me thinking about wealthy characters. There’s a surprising amount of stuff you can do with ridiculously rich characters in writing, especially fantasy.

  1. “You think I can tie my own cravat? I have people for that!” You can show readers a lot about the society in which your characters live. Where do the super-rich get their money – land, trade, crime? What does a wealthy person in this society own – a big house, lots of livestock, extravagant clothes, oodles of servants, titles? Do they get out of normal societal responsibilities (say, the draft)? Do they have extra responsibilities? What do they do day-to-day? How do the rich relate to those with less, and vice versa?

    If the wealthy characters you’re writing about are exceptions to some rule of their society, you can use other people’s reactions to show this.

  2. “The best doctors and mages in the country couldn’t save Mummy’s arm, but they did make her a new one that throws lightning.” Super-rich characters give you the opportunity to outline the limits of your world. If it would interest or aid them, they’re likely to have access to the absolute cutting edge in your world’s technology (unless there’s a reason they can’t – perhaps the technology is secret or is too dangerous for the characters to want anything to do with it) and to the most powerful magic (again, unless something prevents it – some magic systems, for example, might have an ethical iffiness that could put off some characters). Basically, if it can be done in your world, the wealthiest people will probably be able to do it.
  3. “I’m expected at the palace tomorrow anyway. You can come if you wear a maid’s uniform and keep quiet.” If motivated, rich characters may provide a means that moves the plot. They can be a poorer character’s ticket into social circles or events, pull some strings to get the character options, or simply offer a horse or magic item that the character needs.
  4. “We’ll take the lot.” Remember this line from the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone movie? (I don’t remember his exact line in the book, and sadly my copies aren’t here.) Wish fulfillment: fun to read, fun to write. It can be neat to think for any character, “What would s/he do if s/he could afford to do anything?” A rich character can then actually do it.

I personally prefer to have wealthy characters in the supporting cast to using them as protagonists, although three of the POV characters of Lord of the Dark Downs come from an extremely rich family. But I do love my gazillionaire supporting characters. Unbelievably, I’d never realized this, but every one of my novels has at least one person or family who’s rolling in money. I blame my love of rambling mansions as settings, and of fops. Besides the POV characters in Lord of the Dark Downs, none of my protagonists are rich – indeed, several of them have virtually nothing. (Because nothing is more fun than kids who wind up exploring someone else’s big crazy mansion, isn’t that right, DWJ?)

Anyway! While the Forbes Fictional 15 list is awesome, it only seems to include characters from a world that’s assumed to be the same as our own. (Well, except for maybe Scrooge McDuck.) I’m sure it was hard enough to estimate characters’ wealth without having to translate currencies between universes, but since I read (and write) a lot of alternate-world fantasy, I find it fun to think about. Who would you nominate for an inter-universal list? (Let’s avoid deity-type characters who, within their own continuities, own all of existence. Because that’s, you know, cheating.)

My nominations would include:

  • Amy Wong of Futurama
  • Tamaki Suoh of Ouran High School Host Club
  • Sir Percy Blakeney, Baronet of The Scarlet Pimpernel

Who . . . wow . . . actually all come from what’s supposed to be some version of our own world. I was initially thinking Christopher Chant as Chrestomanci, but I don’t actually think he’s all that rich. After all, he’s an honest government employee. He just has a big house. And I realize that a lot of alternate-world fantasy has royalty and nobility who are assumed to be rich, but a big enough deal isn’t specifically made of it for me to want to include them here.

Still, I’m probably forgetting tons of people. Who would you pick?

Who Said That?

I’m now editing (in a rewritey sort of way) Lord of the Dark Downs. This is interesting because, along with similar tension problems to the ones that I think my last edit fixed in Rabbit and Cougar, Lord of the Dark Downs has a lot of viewpoint switching. No, really, a lot. There are seven major characters, all of whom have POV sections of their own.

David Robbins told our writing class that when you switch POV, you jar the reader, so you’d better provide them a good payoff – a reward for sticking with you through the jolt and readjustment of getting into a different character’s head. So, since I’ve been thinking about this a lot, Reasons to Switch Viewpoints!

  1. The current POV character (often the protagonist) cannot be in the right place at the right time for some important event or information. Assuming this isn’t simply an instance of having chosen the wrong character for the protagonist, it may be a good time to throw in a section from someone else’s viewpoint. You can do this just once at the beginning of the book for setup (think of the Half-Blood Prince chapter that follows the Prime Minister), or pop over to alternate POV a couple of times (think the Voldemort sections in Deathly Hallows – although this is a little different, because it’s still sorta-kinda Harry’s POV). Some people are critical of the cut-to-what-the-villain’s-doing route, but it can be done well, and is certainly better than finding a really contrived way for the protagonist to find out.
  2. Expanding on this, sometimes you have multiple subplots happening in different places. Brian Jacques’ Redwall books do this all the time – the third-person POV is a little distant, so it’s not too jarring to have the camera swing over from the Defenders of Redwall to the Traveling Quest Party to the Villain’s Camp. David L. Robbins’ War of the Rats (which, um, I just realized really sounds like a Redwall book, but I promise it’s not) has four firmly-established viewpoints on two sides of the battle of Stalingrad.
  3. Subplots are collocated, but have seriously different goals or viewpoints. War of the Rats does this, too. The POV characters are two Russians and two Germans. They spend most of the book in the same city, and toward the end the snipers’ duel brings them into direct opposition so that switching viewpoints offers intense, and intensely different, takes on the situation.

    Furthermore – though this goes without saying when you have well-developed characters – the two Russians’ views differ even when they’re in the same room, as do those of the two Germans. Seeing the same events unfold through two wildly different filters of values and feelings can be at least as interesting as following characters in different places. (I don’t mean you have to go nonlinear in order to literally show the same events – having characters in the same place while the events are happening is enough.) On some level, every character has her own subplot. If Alex and Ben are in one place, even with one presumably shared goal, maybe Alex disagrees with Ben about how to accomplish it. Maybe Alex honestly doesn’t care about the goal as much as Ben does. Maybe Alex is secretly in love with Ben. Maybe Alex is planning to poison Ben.

  4. One character would have the greatest emotional reaction to the events of this scene. This is sort of the psychological version of, “Who’s in the right place at the right time?”

Wow, I accidentally covered oodles of stuff in Reason Three. This is the iffiest reason to switch POV, because every single character should be the center of her own subplot, however small or tame, and you simply can’t show all of their viewpoints. (Nor would you want to.)

So when do you switch? Well, it’s natural to do it when one of the other reasons also applies. What’s sometimes tougher, though, is how to do it.

You want to minimize confusion for the reader. Sometimes, this is easy. In Rabbit and Cougar, the chapters alternated POV. (This was basically for Reason Three. The two main characters are two different species from different cultures, and they have different reasons for traveling together and different abilities and opinions – Rabbit doesn’t know how to fight, for example, while Cougar can’t speak Elven. Toward the end, though, the characters do get separated, so Reason Two comes into it as well.) In Lord of the Dark Downs, though – for the purposes of this edit at least – I don’t want to throw in a chapter break for every POV switch. I do use line breaks, which is probably the very minimum heads-up you should give your reader when the POV is changing.

One hopes that every character’s voice is distinct enough for readers to know whose head they’re in, but realistically, it’s not always immediately obvious. I admit, a part of me thought, wouldn’t it be cool if they could print these in different colors? Which an e-version could totally do? But of course, the writing should stand alone better than that.

My solution is generally to include a grounding piece in the first paragraph after the line break that makes it obvious whose POV we’re in – a sentence that absolutely has to come from that character. Usually, this includes the character’s name. It might be, “Cedric found himself, again, the tallest person in the room,” or, “Katrina wondered when they would stop for lunch.” Later, once the viewpoint is established, I might be more likely to express this sort of sentiment with, “It had to be time for lunch. Wasn’t anyone else hungry?”

I’m up for the challenge of rewritey-editing (rewritediting?) Lord of the Dark Downs, but I don’t see me writing another seven-viewpoint story. Besides Rabbit and Cougar, all my other long works have one POV each – two in third-person and one in first-person.

Thoughts on point of view? What kind and how many have you used?

Because My Friends Keep Having Magazines

My short story “Chasing Cars” has been accepted to Othergate Journal, a literary journal for genre fiction developed by a group of students at the University of Mary Washington. Woo!

Like a couple of other journals that are publishing my work, I learned about Othergate through people I met at the Advanced Studies in England writing program I did in summer of 2007. Programs like this can be pricey, but they’re excellent for making writerly friends. And ASE was oodles of fun.

Ah, writers socializing. This makes me impatient for the James River Writers conference, which, sadly, is not for mooooonths.

Oh well. Coming soon: entries about actually writing!

Booktalk in, er, 2-D

Photos! Courtesy of a family friend in attendance at the booktalk.

Some members of the audience. They’ve got great facial expressions, haven’t they? The girl on the far right, though she looks like she could be bored, came right up after the booktalk and checked out Uglies.

Here’s me with the two original raffle winners. The woman who won Howl’s Moving Castle then asked me to redo the drawing for it, as she wanted it to go to a kid, or at least someone who had a kid to give it to.

Me with the final winners of the raffle. Huzzah!

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Also, sad and scary news for NJ librarians.